Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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