Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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