Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
