it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
