The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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