I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
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