yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize
