apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Randomize
