Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Randomize
