I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
