Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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