my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Randomize
