I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
