Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
