At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize
