OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
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