there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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