STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
