I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Randomize
