so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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