Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
