yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
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