we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
only you would photoshop your dick
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
