Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I wannas sexs uuuuu
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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