I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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