You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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