You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
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