My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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