So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
