is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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