I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
