Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
