I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Walk of Shame today included voting.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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