didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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