from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
