Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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