You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
they're like a gay fantastic four
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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