I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
