you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
