haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
She tied me up with her honor cords...
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I could fuck to npr.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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