i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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