Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Randomize
