my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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