remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
