This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
