You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Randomize
