chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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