Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
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