Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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