oh god the rape fog is back!
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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